Unknown.

Fuck this I quit...I'm done tryin' I fucking give the fuck up....

Poison in my veins.

I'm tryin' to understand what I've done, and what I need to do in my life to be happy. it is harder than it seems like, I figured that i'd move away and build up my life somewhere else but, that just led to more disappointment to me. I figured it was for the best to get away from all the problems I've had recently but in the end it just made me more depressed than I was, I was half way across the country away from everything I've ever known so I just fell apart emotionally. I hoped that those feelings would dissipate with time, but time ran out.

In March I was called back to the place I had called home for so long, The family I had called mine was falling apart with the sudden death of my friends grandmother, the one who took me in as if I was they're own. I was on a bus back home that day and i'm still here almost 3 months later. I figured this would be the push to get my car running and get my life back on track, but I was looking in the short term not the long term like I needed....and I blew through all the money I had, so I ended back on square one. Now I am living on a couch, have a car that I can't drive, and no job...but I am working on all of them....I have the part's for my car on order, a good job on the horizon, and well.... I'm still on that couch....

Eh...

I'm not so sure what I'm going to do now....maybe I'll go to denver or something....i feel I need to be put on my own for awhile.

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Working it out...

Well dispite all the bullshit surrounding my car I'm finally paying off the loan that has prevented me from doing anything with it....and at a fee of $960.....but it's all in good fun isn't it?

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Betrayed, but never broken.

You never, ever expect for someone that you've known for years to completely turn and stab you in the back after you've done and done for them. I'm not going to name names but I'm sure they'll read this someday and know.
Words are just that, words and whatever I said wasn't enough to trigger this kind of treatment. for everything I did it paled in comparison, you thought me gone, you thought me weak, but your wrong and in the end you'll realize how right I really am and you'll be alone, sad and alone. You drove away the only people who gave a damn about you, when will you learn that your only hurting yourself? When will you see what you've done? maybe never, maybe tomorrow I don't know and honestly I don't care anymore about you I never thought i'd say this but after all of this it need to be said: I wish I never met you. You've become a monster a hateful bastard just because your miserable but i've got news for you...it's your and only your fault, your mistake, your life.
I often called you my brother now I see that that was a mistake, and you will never see me again.

Light in the darkness.

Well this has been a pretty interesting week, Started work at Life University doing maintenance, but on our first day they tell us that they basically have no idea why we're there and that they have to call CobbWorks to find out what's up and to go home. We then show up Tuesday and they got everything settled out with CobbWorks, so we work from 9 to 1, we had to call it and early day because one of the work studies (students who work under life to pay their tuition) had to go to class told us to finish some of the work orders and left us with a golf cart to use, well apparently we wasn't supposed to drive them because we wasn't covered under their insurance, but our supervisor didn't tell us that, so when we were"let loose" a security guard came up to us to tell us to go to the security office we get escorted back and basically get reprimanded about the use of the golf carts and get let off early.

Tuesdays & Thursdays are our GED class days, After our "incident" at work we get home rest for a few hours and go to the school, well apparently our "handler" didn't send over our placement test scores so we couldn't start that day so we got stuck at school from 6-8.
On Wednesday we showed up and told that we weren't supposed to show up, we then go to the HR office and talk to them where they tell us that "it wasn't communicated well enough" and that "they were sorry". Since we were already there they put us to work filing in financial aid all day. Well before we took our lunch break the head of the physical plant came and apologized to us about the whole incident. So now were are working directly under him and working with his men instead of the work studies, and if they have any opening after our 6 weeks its a full-time $11-13/hr job with benefits...funny how that works eh?

And now Blake has all his stuff in order to drive legally...meanwhile my car's still dead...

Translucent flesh and feeble bones, The kind of temple where the whores and villians Try to tempt the holistic tomes.

how awesome is this...i finally got a job...you know what fuck this i'm too damn tired to write right now...