Betrayed, but never broken.

You never, ever expect for someone that you've known for years to completely turn and stab you in the back after you've done and done for them. I'm not going to name names but I'm sure they'll read this someday and know.
Words are just that, words and whatever I said wasn't enough to trigger this kind of treatment. for everything I did it paled in comparison, you thought me gone, you thought me weak, but your wrong and in the end you'll realize how right I really am and you'll be alone, sad and alone. You drove away the only people who gave a damn about you, when will you learn that your only hurting yourself? When will you see what you've done? maybe never, maybe tomorrow I don't know and honestly I don't care anymore about you I never thought i'd say this but after all of this it need to be said: I wish I never met you. You've become a monster a hateful bastard just because your miserable but i've got news for you...it's your and only your fault, your mistake, your life.
I often called you my brother now I see that that was a mistake, and you will never see me again.

Light in the darkness.

Well this has been a pretty interesting week, Started work at Life University doing maintenance, but on our first day they tell us that they basically have no idea why we're there and that they have to call CobbWorks to find out what's up and to go home. We then show up Tuesday and they got everything settled out with CobbWorks, so we work from 9 to 1, we had to call it and early day because one of the work studies (students who work under life to pay their tuition) had to go to class told us to finish some of the work orders and left us with a golf cart to use, well apparently we wasn't supposed to drive them because we wasn't covered under their insurance, but our supervisor didn't tell us that, so when we were"let loose" a security guard came up to us to tell us to go to the security office we get escorted back and basically get reprimanded about the use of the golf carts and get let off early.

Tuesdays & Thursdays are our GED class days, After our "incident" at work we get home rest for a few hours and go to the school, well apparently our "handler" didn't send over our placement test scores so we couldn't start that day so we got stuck at school from 6-8.
On Wednesday we showed up and told that we weren't supposed to show up, we then go to the HR office and talk to them where they tell us that "it wasn't communicated well enough" and that "they were sorry". Since we were already there they put us to work filing in financial aid all day. Well before we took our lunch break the head of the physical plant came and apologized to us about the whole incident. So now were are working directly under him and working with his men instead of the work studies, and if they have any opening after our 6 weeks its a full-time $11-13/hr job with benefits...funny how that works eh?

And now Blake has all his stuff in order to drive legally...meanwhile my car's still dead...

Translucent flesh and feeble bones, The kind of temple where the whores and villians Try to tempt the holistic tomes.

how awesome is this...i finally got a job...you know what fuck this i'm too damn tired to write right now...

eh...

Well today was a pretty bad day...well just kinda annoying, I removed the bottom trim piece of the windshield because it's dry-rotted so now my list is as follows:

Replace:
Bottom windshield trim [$69.94]
Pop Rivets x9 [$5.85]
Radiator to vent hose connector [$2.24]
Radiator vent hose [$17.72]
Fan shroud [$70.08]
Expanding Rivets x2 [$0.57]
= $166.40

Plus I still need to do an oil change
+$43.00
I also need another battery
+75.00

Total = 284.40

but no matter what I still love that damn car.

Iso.

Ah well, things have been going pretty well for me, I finally got some of my stuff out of storage, got gas in my car (that I still can't drive legally), And the best news is that I'm going to start my G.E.D classes Tues. and i'm getting a job through the CobbWorks program. So for now I'm pretty happy. YAY for me!

Tryin'

To be what I think I should be, but as of recently I think I'm getting a little ground down. Every great idea, or thought I have loses focus within mere moments...I'm scared of losing what's left of my fragile world...

Radio...or none...

My car is making me angry.......My original MID (Multi-Information display) LCD was not displaying correctly, so I looked up how to fix it...well I found a DIY tutorial, so I went for it...Well now not only does it not display any better, nothing shows up...at least the unit itself still works.

Time...and all it ever was.

Maybe things will never change between us.
I hope they do.

But that won't change that fact that I still care about you, somewhere underneath all of this living disappointment there is still yet hope for us.

I know I said I didn't really care for you anymore but I think you know that's a lie.

I can't promise to be a better person,
Or to always be there,
or to change my ways.
Because out of everything, you are the only thing that matters.
you are my meaning,
without you I'd be......nothing.

I can try my best to change how thing are, but somewhere deep inside I fell as though I've lost my hope, I pray that things will get better.

The Key is to Fail

Things are looking pretty good right now, all I need is a job and i'm fucking set.

FireLine.

To all those who are forgotten and reminded of who they once were, We are lost and tired from our journey, but don't worry we are close to the ending.

I'm your F**king nightmare.

I feel like a loser some days, but on some I feel like a king. although more often than not its the former...I don't know if it's the lack of a job, car, or what but I'm wearing out. hopefully thing will change, they have to.

Air_Ride

Today is just another boring day, but I did get to do something to satisfy my boredom, I got to change brakes on a for pickup. Other than that I finally set up my blogger to Facebook post besides that it looks like it's going to rain again....god I hope not. it's either that or it's like 95 here.

A day in the life...

It's Tuesday and it's now been a full week without my own place, and despite the aggravation of not having everything where I can easily get to it, this hasn't been to bad (to me at least). Things can only look up from here I have options now, something I haven't had open to me in quite awhile, so if this thing I have going on here doesn't last, I have a backup plan. It's strange really..things are good despite the "trauma" to me.

Everyday is exactly the same....'cept today

I know it's been awhile since I've posted but up until a little of a week ago, nothing much changed in my life, I had the same job until I quit in march, I had a place to lay my head at night no matter when I came home, In all aspects I had security. Then everything i had taken for granted for so long was falling apart, my friends were starting to turn on each other, my mom wasn't able to pay the rent, my ability to get money was waning, the foundation of my life was deteriorating before my eyes, but then I found hope in the form of a '98 BMW 740iL that somebody had listed on Craigslist for $3k, now as you probably know I didn't have the three thousand he was asking for, but I remember my great aunt telling me that she would help me get a "truck" so I figured that the offer would be just as good for a car, right? well go figure she liked me enough to loan me the money to buy the car, the the day after I got the money we went and met the man selling the car, and we come to find out that he was also selling the house the car was at, but considering our luck he had to talk to his wife first, so after that everything was fine, I had a car (that ran, and was a awesome car) we got tags & registration plus it had insurance for another month, so all i really needed was a job and I was fucking set. Well things wouldn't see it that way, when I was driving around all day looking for work i got tired and drove home, well the computer in the car said 18 more miles to empty, so i figured I'd be fine without getting gas in it, well i got into my neighborhood and on the last hill before i got to my complex the car sputtered out and cut off, well since I believed the car computer i figured something was wrong with the car and it wasn't just out of gas. So my mom called john over to look at the car to see if he could figure out what was wrong with it, and after 10 minutes he told me that I was just out of gas plain and simple. He then proceeded to try to dry start the car the octane booster in the tank somehow thinking that this would get it running again. After he left because we couldn't get it started at all, me and my mom had it towed to her "mechanic" because he worked on "imports" and could defiantly fix the car. So the next day he calls her and tells us that my fuel pump is completely dead and i needed a new one with the price ringing in over $450, obviously I couldn't pay that so we looked of cheaper alternatives to his price, well i found a tested good pump in a salvage yard for $50 and with the knowledge to install it me and Blake installed it. but after all that hard work it still didn't start but, it did run with starting spray, so it still sits waiting for me to get it running again. To add to the injury of having my car die on me, we had eviction papers filed and we had to go to court on the 1st to file a answer, well we "won" but the victory was still shallow, we had a week to vacate the apartment. Fast forward to the 8th where I felt dead not only from moving for four days straight, but also from being depressed that my world was gone, and was back to square one. I had fallen asleep around 8:45am but since i was over at john's house I woke back up at 10 and had to deal with john and his kids and a host of other thing I dare not remember, so with my mom still looking at houses and other shit i posted on Facebook my situation and Blake's mom said I could stay at their place, but i would need to get a job asap, which obviously was the plan anyway, so I called them and gave them john's address where they came to pick me up, which is where i am now, and hopefully things will pick up for me, because if they don't I can't be.